And everyone else votes Julie. Professor Hannah Fry escapes by the skin of her teeth, and poor Julie – whose only crime was being nice – is banished.
Julie votes JILL DANDO.
King Kenny votes HANNAH.
Maya votes JULIE.
That's six for Hannah and six for Julie. I still think James Blunt will go, mind you.
Romesh votes HANNAH.
Michael votes JULIE.
Hannah votes JERRY for no reason.
Ross votes JULIE.
Jill Dando votes JULIE.
Anyway. VOTING.
Jerry votes HANNAH.
Rob votes JULIE.
Leigh-Anna votes HANNAH.
Acaster votes JULIE.
Joe votes HANNAH
Bash votes HANNAH
Hannah does something quite clever here. She's asking people not to follow the pack, but she's also critiquing the intrinsic flaw of the show itself, in that it gets rid of the interesting people first and only boring people win.
People are literally looking at Julie and licking their lips. This isn't looking good. And I realise that in most of these liveblogs I've said that I want both Julie and Bella to be my best friend. I think the moral of the story here is that being my friend is literally a death sentence.
Julie's attempt to defend herself is to get a dry mouth and emote a bit too hard. She's innocent, but she's making herself look more and more guilty with every passing second.
Little Lemon James Blunt sees the heat on Hannah, and immediately pivots to Julie. James Acaster backs him up, because James Acaster is a traitor. James Blunt, meanwhile, is just a bit of a ninny.
Miranda goes full bloodhound on Hannah too, asking for clarification about whatever happened with Myha'la the previous day. The professor is losing her nerve very quickly in real time.
Hannah's defence, brilliantly, is "Of course you suspect me, I'm famously extremely clever." Is she attempting to boast her way to safety? This is a hell of a gambit.
Michael Sheen starts. He wants to know why Bella was murdered. He's being highly astute, and it sets the mob on a path of chasing down Hannah. Even King Kenny is going after her, and he is anonymous to the point of only barely existing.
Maya goes on manoeuvres to place suspicion upon Julie too. This is shaping up to be a Julie vs Hannah showdown at the roundtable. I predict a lot of people being very wrong about many things very loudly.
I've noticed that the Traitors castle has a kitchen island with a sunken toaster. This is easily the most aspirational thing I have ever seen.
Meanwhile, Joanne strongly suspects that Julie is a traitor. This is because Joanne is in the middle of a lifelong wrong streak that will never end and she has never been right about anything.
Meanwhile, it would seem that the noose is tightening around Hannah, to the extent that even James Acaster doesn't know whether to fling her under the bus or not.
On the way back to the castle, Bash says that was his favourite mission of them all. Bash loves toilet diving pass it on.
The last task involves drinking some homebrew to see which one is the spiciest. They really should have finished with the toilet, in retrospect.
The chanters swap with the cabin lot, and they're confronted with a haunted television. This means they have to identify a wedding dress from a pile of wedding dresses, obviously. Meanwhile, Jerry Hall mentions that when she was with Mick Jagger, she literally wore a wedding dress every day until he agreed to marry her. This is an A+ anecdote, and only gives me more reason to fear her.
Now there's a talking teddy bear. Oh, they just have to find a toy in a toybox. That isn't how escalation works. I was kind of hoping that someone would have to gargle vomit or whatever.