The has played host to not one, not two, but three pastiches of , which is a testament to the TV show’s grip on the zeitgeist as well as its ripeness for a mickey take. By all accounts, Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody is the best of the bunch and, now playing in the West End for a limited run, it proves to be a funny, fierce and filthy night out. And at just 70 minutes, it’s as tight as Ilya Rozanov’s ass.
Said ass doesn’t sing in the show, sadly, but its praises are frequently sung in Dylan Marcaurele’s sprightly score. The NYC-based writer-composer has an ear for a catchy hook and a witty way with words, as evinced in opening song ‘What We Want’. In it, a trio of Susans (aka Canadian Karens) set the scene and wax lyrical about straight women’s fascination with man-on-man action.
The lusty lads go from eye-fucking in the gym to actual fucking in homes and hotels
Then we’re introduced to Shane Hollander (Zheng Xi Yong, fresh from the musical), who sings about carrying ‘A Heavy Load’ as a closeted superstar hockey player with a pushy mum. Next we meet the object of his secret affections in the muscled shape of Rozanov (Joseph Dann in his professional stage debut), singing ‘Big Ass, Cold Heart’ in a deliberately dodgy Russian accent.
From there double entendres fly and things get increasingly saucy, just as they do on the TV show and in Rachel Reid’s considerably more graphic novel series. The lusty lads go from eye-fucking in the gym to actual fucking in homes and hotels in a breathless run through of all the familiar plot points of what Wikipedia coyly calls a “sports romance”, ending – yes, you’ve guessed it – at Shane’s cottage.
Yong is adorable as the Montreal Metros’ captain and Dann is a commanding physical presence as his Boston Raiders rival, both of them brilliantly lampooning the mannerisms of Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie in a parody that manages to be both irreverently daft and reverently heartfelt.
An hilarious gap-filler that should keep fans warm until season two
A myriad of other roles are filled by a very hardworking Andrew Berlin, Sylvie Stenson and May Tether, from Rozanov’s ailing dad to Hollander’s actress girlfriend/beard Rose Landry via Ilya’s lusty fuck buddy Svetlana and fan favourite Kip the barista.
Kip’s crush François Arnaud is played by a willing audience member who is plucked from the crowd and given a script to read from. On press night, the volunteer was clearly a plant, as he was sporting a hockey jumper and nailed every line like a seasoned pro.
Arnaud’s coming out is played for laughs rather than the cheers and tears it elicited in the TV version and, paced faster than a speeding puck, the stage show is over too fast. But it’s an hilarious gap-filler that should keep fans warm until season two hits TV screens next spring.
Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody is at Underbelly Boulevard Soho, London, until 1 November. Get tickets .